Another Year Around the Sun

Tomorrow, I turn 33. Birthdays have always been a complex time for me. They have been moments for self-reflection, but not always the type that feels gentle or kind. For many of us, birthdays can stir up a mix of emotions: pride, nostalgia, anxiety, or even self-judgment. I’ve sometimes found myself caught in the comparison trap, or caught between wanting the day to feel special and simultaneously trying to brush it off as “just another day.”

Last year, after a health scare, my approach to my birthday shifted. I found myself wanting to gather people in my life together in the same space, and to feel their presence tangibly. It was less about the celebration itself and more about reassurance that the supportive connections I value were real and present.

This is a feeling many of us can relate to. Sometimes, we seek validation from others during moments of uncertainty, or we long to feel truly seen. Other times, we may retreat, avoiding the attention, the messages, or the expectations entirely. Birthdays can amplify all of that.

In reflecting on my own experiences, I notice patterns: pushing for “just another day” when a date seems too heavy with expectation, or seeking connection when I need reassurance that I’m not alone. These responses are normal and human, and they can offer valuable insight into how we process emotions, how we speak to ourselves, and how we respond to our need for belonging.

This year, I’m approaching my birthday differently. I am celebrating quietly, intentionally, and also reflecting on what I want to let go of and what I want to make space for:

Letting go of:

·       Holding myself to higher standards than others

·       Opinions I never asked for

·       Things I can’t control

·       Self-sabotage rooted in fear of failure or change

Making space for:

·       More creativity and self-expression

·       Standing up for myself

·       Supportive and nourishing relationships

·       Making bold moves and taking risks

In therapy, I often encourage clients to reflect on moments like birthdays, anniversaries, or transitions, not to judge themselves for how they feel, but to explore what these dates stir up emotionally. Sometimes we uncover patterns, fears, or desires that are subtle yet influential in how we navigate life.

This reflection isn’t about perfection. It’s about noticing what resonates for you, honouring your emotions, allowing them to exist as they are, and using these insights to guide your choices and actions. Perhaps you see yourself in some of this: feeling ambivalent about milestones, longing for connection, engaging with your inner critic, or navigating expectations. That complexity is human, and it’s something we can sit with and explore.

The past year has been full of growth: I’ve left my corporate job, started building a business, completed a college course, met new people, created art, danced, attended concerts, and celebrated meaningful moments with others. Each experience has informed how I want to approach the year ahead.

As I step into 33, I hold space for both the joy and the complexity of life’s milestones, and I invite you to do the same. Whether through art, meditation, reflection, or connecting with others, there are gentle ways to explore your feelings, release what no longer serves you, and make room for what truly matters.