Self-Reflection: Checking In With Yourself

In our busy lives, it’s easy to move from one task to the next without pausing to notice how we’re feeling or what’s happening inside our minds. Self-reflection is a simple yet profound practice that encourages us to slow down and take stock of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It’s essentially a moment to check in with yourself, to look inward and explore what’s happening beneath the surface.

Self-reflection isn’t about criticism or overthinking. It’s not a tool for beating yourself up or dwelling on mistakes. Instead, it’s more like looking in a mental mirror to understand your thoughts and feelings, to engage with them, and to learn from them. It can shine a light on both challenges and achievements, helping you appreciate the moments of joy, growth, and connection in your life as well as navigate the uncomfortable emotions that inevitably arise.

Creating a Safe Space

Before you begin to reflect, it’s important to create a sense of safety. Self-reflection often brings up emotions that are uncomfortable or unexpected. Feeling vulnerable or exposed is normal, and giving yourself a secure space, whether that’s a quiet corner of your home, a journal, or a creative activity, can make the process feel more manageable. When we feel safe, our minds are more open to honest exploration, and we are better able to process what arises without judgment.

It’s also helpful to remember that self-reflection is flexible. Some insights come in structured moments, such as journaling or guided exercises, while others arrive spontaneously, during a shower, on a late-night walk, or even in the quiet moments just before sleep. These “aha” moments can be just as meaningful as planned reflection, providing clarity when we least expect it.

How to Reflect

Self-reflection is essentially a pause to ask yourself questions like: How did I feel today? How did I respond to situations? What thoughts or emotions are arising, and where are they coming from? These questions help us notice patterns in our behaviour and understand the ways our mind and body interact.

It’s important to approach this with curiosity rather than judgment. Reflection is not about criticising yourself for what you think or feel. You might reflect on a challenging day, but you can also use this practice to celebrate small wins, acknowledge achievements, and recognise moments of happiness or gratitude. Both the positive and the difficult aspects of life are worthy of attention, and both provide valuable insight.

Reflecting on Wide-Ranging Topics

You can reflect on almost anything. You might examine a particular event that had an emotional impact, or explore broader aspects of your life, such as confidence, perspective, safety, or values. For example, I recently reflected on my confidence after receiving comments that set me back. I asked myself what confidence really means and looks like to me, then created a painting to visualise it. Afterwards, I journaled about the experience; what I saw, how it felt to create, and what I learned about my own sense of self.

Reflection can also extend to questions like: What does happiness mean to me? Am I living in alignment with my values? How am I feeling in this moment, and what might my body be trying to tell me? Checking in with your body is just as important as noticing your thoughts. Perhaps you need more rest, movement, or nourishment. Paying attention to physical signals can guide emotional regulation and support overall well-being.

Practical Exercises

Practical exercises can help make self-reflection more tangible. They give you a starting point and structure while still allowing personal exploration.

1. Brainstorming: Start by choosing a topic you want to explore. This could be an emotion, a value, a recent experience, or a concept like happiness or safety. Write down everything that comes to mind about that topic. Don’t organise or judge your thoughts. The goal is to capture your raw ideas. Once you’ve finished, look over what you wrote. Notice patterns, repeated thoughts, or any surprises. This exercise helps you identify what is occupying your mind and brings clarity to your feelings and priorities.

2. Visual Expression: Translate your thoughts or feelings into a visual form. You could sketch, paint, collage, or use colour and shapes to express what you are experiencing. Focus on representation, not artistic skill. The act of externalising your inner world allows you to see connections between thoughts and emotions that might not emerge through words alone. Consider the choices you made, the colours you chose, and any symbols that appear in your artwork. Creative exercises like this can reveal hidden feelings, spark new insights, and provide a safe space for expression.

3. Journaling: After brainstorming or creating an image, write about the experience. Note what came up during the exercise, how it felt physically and emotionally, and what you learned about yourself. Journaling lets you explore thoughts in detail, trace patterns, and reflect on responses to situations. It provides a private, non-judgmental space to process your experiences and understand yourself better.

4. Gestalt-Inspired Two-Minute Images: Set a timer for two minutes and draw images representing specific words or emotions such as joy, fear, anger, sadness, going crazy, or being sane. Don’t worry about making it perfect. Focus on expressing the emotion through whatever lines, shapes, or colours come naturally. Afterward, look at what you created and write down any observations. Which emotions were easy or difficult to express? What patterns appear across different words? This exercise encourages spontaneous expression and helps you engage directly with your emotional landscape.

5. Body Check-In: Self-reflection isn’t only about the mind. Take time to notice your body. Ask yourself questions such as: Where do I feel tension or discomfort? Where do I feel calm or energy? Is my body craving more movement, rest, or nourishment? Paying attention to physical sensations can give you clues about emotions that are present but unacknowledged. This connection between body and mind strengthens self-awareness and supports overall emotional regulation.

6. Combining Exercises: You can combine any of these exercises in a single session. For example, you might brainstorm a topic, then create an image, and finally journal about what surfaced. This multi-step approach allows you to engage with your feelings on different levels: cognitively, emotionally, and physically.

These exercises are designed to be adaptable. You can choose one that resonates, repeat the same exercise at different times, or switch between them depending on what feels useful. The key is to approach each activity with curiosity and patience, using them as tools to explore and understand your thoughts, emotions, and bodily signals without judgment.

Learning to Feel

I had to learn how to truly feel my emotions in my late twenties and early thirties. Like many people, I grew up in a culture that encouraged us to suppress feelings, “have the craic,” and keep up appearances. We were taught that some emotions are good and others bad, when in reality, every feeling serves a purpose. Through self-reflection, I began to change my relationship with my emotions, listening to what my mind and body were signalling. Over time, this practice has helped me regulate my feelings, make decisions with more clarity, and build resilience. People often comment on how much healthier I look since I started listening to myself.

Self-reflection allows us to truly feel without shame. It’s about giving yourself permission to experience, explore, and learn from whatever arises. I promise that, with self-reflection, you too will notice a difference in your relationship with yourself.

Benefits of Self-Reflection

Regular self-reflection can enhance emotional regulation, build resilience, increase self-compassion, and support long-term health. By checking in with yourself, you gain insight into your thoughts and behaviours, identify areas where change is needed, and recognise what already works well. You can make more intentional choices, nurture positive habits, and respond to challenges with awareness rather than reaction.

It is, however, important to approach reflection with care. It can easily slip into self-criticism if we are not gentle with ourselves. Reflection works best when paired with kindness, curiosity, and patience. Give yourself grace and avoid using this practice as an excuse to dwell on mistakes.

A Practice for Everyday Life

Self-reflection doesn’t need to be formal or lengthy. It can be a few quiet minutes with a journal, a sketch, or even a mental check-in during the day. You can explore feelings, events, values, or what makes you happy. You can also reflect on how you might improve a challenging day, or simply acknowledge what is going well. Over time, this practice becomes a habit, a steady companion that helps you navigate life with greater clarity and compassion.

While self-reflection is valuable, it is not a replacement for therapy. For deeper work, consider seeking a therapist or art therapist who can guide you through emotions and help you process experiences in a safe and supportive environment.