The Problem with Calling It "Trauma-Dumping"

Lately, I’ve noticed the term “trauma dumping” being thrown around a lot — and honestly, it bothers me. I think it’s overused, often misapplied, and in many cases, completely misunderstands what true trauma-dumping actually is.

What trauma dumping really is

True trauma dumping happens when someone overwhelms another person by sharing extremely intense or traumatic stories, or too much personal information, without any regard for the listener’s capacity to process it, or without considering whether it’s an appropriate time or context. This could involve repeated disclosures over time or even a single incident that leaves the listener feeling burdened or unsafe. True trauma dumping is often directed at acquaintances, strangers, or people the sharer doesn’t know well, and it lacks reciprocity, meaning there is no back-and-forth exchange of support.

For example, imagine telling a colleague about a detailed history of abuse during a brief coffee break, without any warning or consent. The colleague is not emotionally prepared, and you’ve not asked whether they’re able to engage with such heavy material. That would be a true case of trauma dumping.

When “trauma dumping” is misapplied

In reality, what people often call trauma dumping isn’t trauma dumping at all. I’ve been in plenty of situations with friends who vented to me about struggles, like a breakup, anxiety, or work stress, only to apologise afterwards, saying something like, “Sorry for trauma dumping.” I always reassure them: what they’re doing isn’t trauma dumping. It’s normal. It’s human. They’re seeking support from their support network. If that’s not what friends are for, then I honestly don’t know what is. Reaching out to share your feelings with people you trust is part of how we process life and maintain connections.

The need to share trauma

It’s worth considering why someone feels the need to share their trauma. Expression can be a powerful tool for coping and healing. Sharing experiences might be a way of seeking support, validating your emotions, making sense of shock, or connecting with others who can relate.

Yet, society often treats sharing trauma with a friend as “trauma dumping,” while sharing similar experiences to a wide audience on social media seems more acceptable. Neither is inherently right or wrong, but this double standard highlights how the term is being misused.

Why terminology matters

The way we misuse psychological or therapeutic terms can be damaging, both to the people using them and to the people to whom they are applied. For example:

• Antisocial is often used to describe someone who is shy or prefers being alone. In reality, antisocial personality disorder is a serious mental health condition characterised by repeated violation of social norms, deceit, and lack of empathy.

• OCD is frequently used to describe neatness or liking organisation. True obsessive-compulsive disorder involves intrusive, distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviours (compulsions) that are time-consuming and anxiety-inducing.

• Narcissism is often casually applied to anyone who seems self-absorbed. Clinically, narcissistic personality disorder involves pervasive grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

• Boundaries are often misunderstood, too. They are personal limits that protect your emotional and physical well-being. Misusing the concept to try to control others misses the point entirely. Boundaries are about self-care, not controlling behaviour.

Using terms incorrectly can shame and silence people. In the case of “trauma dumping,” it discourages people from seeking support when they most need it.

Therapy and trauma sharing

I also don’t believe that trauma dumping is even possible in therapy. That’s what therapy is for. Therapy is a safe space to explore whatever is on your mind, no judgment and no limits on what you “should” share. We’re here to listen to whatever you need to talk about and help you explore your thoughts and feelings. Seeking support is not dumping, it’s processing.

The harm of misusing the term

When we incorrectly label someone’s attempt to share and seek support as trauma dumping, we shame them. We make it harder for them to reach out for help in the future. What might have been a natural step toward healing becomes a source of guilt or hesitation.

In the long term, misusing the term can reinforce isolation and stigma. Someone who is already struggling may internalise the idea that their need for support is “too much,” creating additional barriers to connection, emotional regulation, and recovery.

Final thoughts

Language carries weight, especially when it comes to conversations about trauma and mental health. Words can either open doors to connection and healing, or they can create barriers and shame. The way “trauma dumping” is currently thrown around often falls into the latter category, silencing people who are simply trying to make sense of their experiences or reach out for support.

It is important to remember that seeking help, leaning on friends, or speaking about difficult experiences is not a weakness. Nor is it a burden. It is part of being human, and it is one of the ways we survive and heal. When someone trusts you enough to share their pain, it reflects their search for safety, understanding, or connection, not an attempt to overwhelm you.

Of course, there are times when boundaries are necessary. Nobody should feel forced to take on more than they can handle. But the answer lies in setting clear, compassionate boundaries, not in labelling genuine expressions of pain as “trauma dumping.”

By choosing our words carefully, we can encourage healthier, more supportive conversations around trauma. Instead of silencing or shaming those who are struggling, we can create space for them to be heard, validated, and supported. That, to me, is the opposite of “dumping.” It’s connection, and it’s vital.