How Are You Dividing Up Your Energy?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about energy — not the “I had too much coffee” kind of energy, but the real, deeper type: the stuff that helps us get through the day, care for ourselves, and show up for the people we love.

The thing is, energy isn’t infinite. Some days it feels like I have loads of it, other days it’s gone before I even leave the house. And if you live with a disability, mental health challenges or a chronic illness (like I do), you know just how precious and limited energy can be.

That’s why I want to talk about how we divide up our energy, and how paying attention to it can completely change the way we move through the world.

What Even Is Energy?

When I say “energy,” I don’t mean anything mystical or abstract. I mean the mental, physical, and emotional fuel that helps you do life. It’s what lets you brush your teeth, answer an email, cook a meal, go for a walk, or have a deep conversation with a friend.

But energy doesn’t just magically appear every morning like an unlimited resource. Stress, sleep, illness, and even just everyday demands all impact how much we actually have to spend.

For me, this really clicked when I learned about something called Spoon Theory.

Spoon Theory: A New Way to Think About Energy

Spoon Theory was created by Christine Miserandino, who lives with lupus. She used spoons in a café to explain to a friend what it’s like to live with a chronic illness. Each spoon represented a unit of energy.

Here’s the idea:

• A healthy person might start the day with dozens of spoons — sometimes it even feels like unlimited spoons. They can run errands, go to work, meet friends, and still have spoons left over.

• Someone with a chronic illness, on the other hand, starts the day with a very limited number of spoons. Every single activity — no matter how small — costs spoons. Showering might take 2 spoons, walking the dog might take 5, making dinner might take 3. And when you’re out of spoons, that’s it. You can’t do more without overexerting yourself.

When I first read this, it resonated so deeply. As someone with a chronic illness, Spoon Theory has become part of how I live. It helps me check in with myself: How many spoons do I have today? If I’m running low, I ask myself: What’s truly urgent? What can wait until tomorrow?

It’s like a mix of economics and a video game. You start the day with a certain number of points, and you have to choose carefully where to spend them. It doesn’t give you more energy, but it helps you spend the energy you do have in a way that feels intentional.

And honestly? Even if you don’t have a chronic condition, Spoon Theory is useful. It can help anyone get more mindful about where their energy is going.

Where Is Your Energy Going? (Try This Exercise)

If you’re not sure where your energy is being spent, here’s a simple creative exercise that I love:

1. Grab a piece of paper and some colours — pens, markers, crayons, whatever you like.

2. Draw a big circle on the page. This circle is your total energy.

3. Divide it into sections. Each section represents something that takes up your energy: work, family, relationships, social media, worries, hobbies, etc.

4. Now colour in each section to show how much energy it takes. For example, if work takes up half your energy, shade half of that section.

When you’re done, step back and look at your circle.

• Is your energy going where you actually want it to go?

• Are there sections you’d like to shrink or grow?

• Are there things you’re pouring energy into that don’t really matter to you?

This exercise is such an eye-opener. Sometimes we don’t even realise just how much energy we’re spending on things like overthinking, scrolling, or saying yes when we want to say no.

Energy, Sleep, and Rest

Of course, one of the biggest things that impacts energy is sleep. Since we were kids, we’ve been told that sleep is important, but it’s easy to forget just how much it matters. Sleep isn’t just about “not being tired” — it’s about your brain resetting, healing, and literally rewiring itself (hello, neuroplasticity!).

I’ve learned that how I prepare for sleep can make a huge difference in how much energy I have the next day. Here are some things that have helped me:

• Brain dump before bed: Grab a notebook and write for 10 minutes. Get everything out of your head — thoughts, feelings, to-dos. It frees up mental space so you can actually rest.

• The name game: Pick a celebrity (say, Tom Cruise) and then keep going with another celebrity whose name starts with the last letter of the surname (Cynthia Erivo → Olivia Rodrigo → etc.). It distracts your mind from racing thoughts and gently tires your brain out.

• Limit screens: I know, we’ve all heard it — but it’s true. Blue light + endless TikTok scrolling = overstimulated brain that won’t shut off.

• Create a wind-down routine: It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Just a few small things you do every night (brush your teeth, get into comfy clothes, pour a glass of water, maybe read a book). A little ritual tells your brain, “Okay, it’s time to rest.”

What Actually Gives You Energy?

Here’s the flip side: not everything drains you. Some things replenish you. But what gives energy is deeply personal.

• Some people feel recharged after socialising and being around others.

• Others (like me!) feel restored by quiet time at home, cuddling with a pet, or just having space to breathe.

• Creative outlets, like painting, writing, music, movement, can be a huge source of energy.

The key is asking yourself:

• What gives me energy?

• How does that energy feel in my body?

• Can I make space for more of it in my life?

Sometimes even small shifts — a five-minute doodle, a walk in nature, or a call with a friend — can give us just enough of an energy boost to keep going.

Final Thoughts

Dividing up your energy isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about noticing where your energy is going, making choices that honour your limits, and giving yourself permission to rest and recharge.

For me, living by Spoon Theory has been a game-changer. It doesn’t make my illness disappear, but it helps me navigate my days with more awareness, more choice, and more kindness toward myself.

And I think that’s something we could all benefit from.

Sources:

• “Sleep Health and Mental Health: A Position Statement from the National Sleep Foundation” by the National Sleep Foundation (no date). Found at this link: https://www.thensf.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/NSF-Position-Statement_Sleep-and-Mental-Health_4.1.2024.pdf

• “The Spoon Theory” by Christine Miserandino (2003) in a blog post for www.butyoudontlooksick.com.